Tuesday, January 22, 2008

best life ever...

i'm redoing bob green's best life ever diet. i didn't manage much last year but it's okay. anywho... it's more of a "profound, think about your life" type of diet rather than "don't drink soda" type. and i'm glad for it. i mean, i've had my bitter, i should have never lost weight in the first place moments (i used to be a good 60 lbs more in the past but lost that but never moved down from where i am now). if i never did, i would be the right size for bypass. and then, of course, i could be bitter about bypass--not to say if you got it or will i'll hate you--lol! of course not, i just know in my heart, it's not for me. besides, i have other blessings. and i'm cool with that!

there are three questions i need to answer... i'm toying with my answer for the first one.

question one: why are you overweight?
well... what is the answer? i am because i am. it's easier to be heavy. it's easy to make the argument, oh well, it's just a cupcake and dude, i'm already overweight... lol! cupcakes are good and yummy! actually, that remindes me, i'm also an emotional eater. i eat when i'm stressed--ask heather--lol, i called her today for "no cupcake" support. she was great! thanks heather! i'm over wieght because i hate going to the gym and i like to eat. i'm over weight because i grew up poor and poor people CAN afford fast food. if your mom is a single parent, the last thing she wants to do when she gets home is cook. she stops at jack in the box and for 7 dollars (4 jumbo jacks and two fries) she's got dinner! i don't blame her--i just know where it started.

why still? hum... why still... because i get board with food. i don't cook all that fab but i'm trying and it's a process. i've learned how to read labels lately but it takes time to replace all those habits. in special ed, we call it replacement behaviors and there is a long process. i think i rush into that process when i'm not ready and WHAM... crash and burn... lol.

there are sooo many reasons. i'll think more later... right now, i need some tea.

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